Pazar, Kasım 25

ya şimdi.

o kadar cok yazmak istiyorum ki aslında.
daha az konusup daha cok susup daha coktan da cok yazmak..

iş güç kosturma o kadar hızlı geçiyor ki zaman.. cocukken günlüğüme sürekli 'cok sıkılıyorum' yazdıgımı hatırlıyorum..o kadar vakit ve o kadar da yapacak birşeyim yoktu ki.
şimdi 2012 yılı bitiyor ve dönüp baktığımda sadece şuan severek yaptığım işe girdiğim gün aklımda.
sonrası olaylar olaylar..

***
lisedeyken ve daha ufakken hayatla ilgili hayaller kurarken 26-27 yaş ideal diyorduk kızlarla. evlenmek için süper yaş. gezer tozar 30 gibi de cocuk yapılır. şu bu..
o zamanlar cocuksun tabi. hayattan haberin yok. üniversiteye bile gitmemişsin. iş hayatı nedir onu dahi
bilmiyorsun..atıyorsun bol keseden.

***

sonra 26 yaşımın bittiği ay eylül ayında dönüp bi geçmişe baktım. neler yapmısım.neler istemişim neler olmuş.
neler istiyorum?
sonra baktım ki istemem yetmiş. tutturmam yetmiş. sosyoloji okuyacagım demişim okumusum. IK olacagım demişim olmuşum.

şimdi sadece mutlu olacağım diye tutturmak istiyorum blog. mutlu ve sağlıklı..sevdiğim insanlarla keyif alarak geçireceğim günlerimi..
ömür dediğin bir gün o da bugün..
bunu canım arkadaşım gökhan dogum gününde sessizce aramızdan gidip öğretti bize..
ve o kadar özledik ki onu..ona dair söylenecek yazacak o kadar çok seyim var ki.
baslı basına bir yazı olacak zaten. kelimelerimi toparlıyorum sadece..

şimdi, elimden geleni yapıyorum yapmaya calısıyorum.
daha az sabırlı ve daha az tolareliyim belki.. ama tüm yasadıklarım.tüm tecrübeler
tüm kalp ve hayal kırıklıkları insanı 'o' kişi yapan..
beni ben yapan..

mutlu olacağım.
0'dan yeniden başlayacağım..
yaşadığım yerde gün batımı..böyle güzel..

1 yorum:

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